You Fail at Life
by After17
Summary: AU.  Oneshot  Various cannon pairings. Your text made me snigger in class, while I was looking at my crotch. FML.


**You Fail at Life.**

**After17**

**Summary**: AU. (Oneshot) Various cannon pairings. Your text made me snigger in class, while I was looking at my crotch. FML.

Humorous fic.

**Fore note:** Text fics… sigh. So addictive to write, man, I swear. Trying a cleaner lay out this time though. Randomness is ensured.

Also, I freaking love the summary. I laugh when ever I read it. YOU SHOULD TOO! (Imagine it! IMAGINE IT! NOW SNIGGER! BAHAHAHA!)

_Funny fact:_ this fic started out as a TimmyxTecna. FAIL. However, the punch line is still the same in this fic as it was going to be as the TimmyxTec so not much was lost there.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I'm disclaiming!

**9:02 AM**

**To: **Timmy

**From: **Sky

You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!

If I sent this to Bloom do you think she'd let me take her on a date?

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**9:08 AM**

**To: **Sky

**From: **Timmy

Well, if it's any help, I don't _think_ so.

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**9:10 AM**

**To: **Riven

**From: **Sky

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

Do you think Bloom would like me, if I asked her out with this pick up line?

X

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X

**10:50 AM**

**To: **Sky

**From: **Riven

Thanks a lot. I got detention.

From reading your text.

Idiot.

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**10:51 AM**

**To: **Riven

**From: **Sky

What?

Wait, seriously?

How did that happen?

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**11:00 AM**

**To: **Sky

**From: **Riven

I can't believe I'm admitting this…

BUT…

Your text made me snigger.

In class.

While I was looking at my crotch.

FML.

X

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**11:20 AM**

**To: **Riven

**From: **Sky

Well, now it looks like I'm joining you.

FML.

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**11:30 AM**

**To: **Sky

**From: **Riven

FML. AGAIN.

Bastard.

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**11:45 AM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Riven

I know I said, I'd go to the CD store with you…

But I have detention.

Blame Sky.

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X

**11:47 AM**

**To: **Sky

**From: **Musa

OMG! I FINALLY get Riven – _the _Riven, Mr. I'm-too-cool-for-you.

To hang out.

ALONE.

WHY did you have to screw everything up?

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**11:48 AM**

**To: **Sky

**From: **Musa

I hate you.

X

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X

**11:48 AM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Sky

Sorry.

Hey, I want to ask Bloom out; if I sent her this…

Can I borrow a quarter? I promised my mom I would call her when I met the girl of my dreams.

Would she say yeah?

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**11:50 AM**

**To: **Sky

**From: **Musa

What part of 'I hate you' didn't you get the first time?

OMG! YOU OWE ME AND RIVEN A DATE!

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**11:52 AM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Sky

I can't even get a date myself.

What makes you think I can get a date between you and Riven?

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**11:55 AM**

**To: **Sky

**From: **Musa

I DON'T CARE!

YOU OWE ME A DATE!

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**11:57 AM**

**To:** Musa

**From: **Sky

Wtf, woman, are you on your period or something?

You're being so moody.

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**11:58 AM**

**To: **Sky

**From: **Musa

WTF? Is it sport season, is that why you're so dumb?

Here's a tip; Go fall down a well.

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**11:59 AM**

**To:** Musa

**From: **Sky

Bitch.

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**12:02 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Musa

I hate Sky.

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**12:04 PM**

**To: **Stella

**From: **Musa

I hate Sky.

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**12:05 PM**

**To: **Tecna

**From: **Musa

I hate Sky.

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**12:07 PM**

**To: **Flora

**From: **Musa

I hate Sky.

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**12:09 PM**

**To: **Layla

**From: **Musa

I hate Sky.

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**12:11 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Stella

It's just because you're a little emotional around this time of month…

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**12:12 PM**

**To: **Stella

**From: **Musa

WTF? No, it's not.

He got Riven detention so we can't hang out.

And fine. It's a little of that as well.

X

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**12:14 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Flora

Oh, well, if you don't have anything on, we can hang out after school?

You wanted to get that CD right?

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**12:16 PM**

**To: **Flora

**From: **Musa

ZOMG, I was meant to go with Riven but now he has detention.

WAH!

Why can't boys be like girls – like sweet and kind and stuff?

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**12:18 PM**

**To: **Flora

**From: **Musa

Oh, sorry I forgot, you have the only nice heterosexual boyfriend in existence.

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**12:21 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Bloom

Huh? What happened?

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**12:23 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Musa

I don't know, ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND!

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**12:25 PM**

**To: **Stella

**From: **Bloom

I hate it when Musa's like this…

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**12:27 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Stella

You're telling me, but we all get like that… sometimes.

Also, where are you? Its lunch!

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**12:29 PM**

**To: **Stella

**From: **Bloom

Getting extra notes printed? Want a copy?

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**12:30 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Stella

Please. So would everyone else, print out ten copies please!

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**12:32 PM**

**To: **Stella

**From: **Bloom

You are all such slackers…

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**12:34 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Stella

And cheapskates.

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**12:35 PM**

**To: **Stella

**From: **Bloom

You're all paying me back for these photocopies.

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**12:37 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Stella

But they're like ten cents?

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**12:38 PM**

**To: **Stella

**From: **Bloom

Bohemian Rhapsody is an amazing song, btw.

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**:39 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Stella

What?

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**12:41 PM**

**To: **Stella

**From: **Bloom

It's on in the library.

_He's just a poor boy from a poor family. _

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**12:42 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Stella

Okay, well you didn't need to reconfirm that.

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**12:45 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Musa

Let me Goooooooooooooo-OOOOOOOooooo!

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**12:47 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Bloom

How did you know?

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**12:49 AM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Musa

Stella just belted out the song.

Actually, we had a bit of a High School Musical moment.

Well, just out table.

It was actually amazing.

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**12:50 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Bloom

Depressed that I missed that.

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**1:15 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Musa

You know what is an amazing song?

(Also, I dibs Sharpay! I'm such a bitch)

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**1:30 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Brandon

Please explain why Stella, Musa and Layla just jumped onto their desks in Geography singing bird is the word?

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**1:38 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Brandon

I honestly don't know, but I may have mentioned 'Bohemian Rhapsody' at lunch.

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**1:42 PM**

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Brandon

Makes even less sense than before but amazing song.

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**1:45 PM**

**To: **Bloom, Stella, Flora, Tecna, Layla, Sky, Riven, Brandon, Helia, Timmy…

**From:** Musa

I said…

BIRD IS THE WORD!

A-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bi-bi-bi-bi-bi-bi-rd.

Oh yeah.

X

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**1:46 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From:** Riven

Surf's up.

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**1:48 PM**

**To: **Riven

**From:** Musa

Dude….

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**2:00 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From:** Riven

Win?

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**2:01 PM**

**To: **Riven

**From:** Musa

Epic.

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**2:50 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From:** Tecna

I just checked my balance online, guess who has enough for that new computer with duel screens! Jealous?

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**2:55 PM**

**To: **Tecna

**From:** Musa

Shhh! I am trying to do my work.

YOU SHOULD TOO!

SLACKER!

X

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**2:57 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From:** Tecna

Yeah. You're so jealous.

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**2:59 PM**

**To: **Tecna

**From:** Musa

Shut up, bitch.

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**3:00 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.

Do you think Bloom would like it if I asked her out what that?

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**3:02 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

Dude.

Insert sad face here.

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**3:05 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

What?  
>Why?<p>

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**3:06 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

I thought you were coming on to ME.

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**3:08 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

Uh, do you want me too?

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**3:10 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

Nah, I know you'd just be seeing Riven behind my back.

Have fun in detention.

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**3:12 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

Riven and I would make a terrible pairing.

I need someone whose attentive and respectful and well, a girl.

Because I don't swing that way.

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**3:15 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

You just want someone whose a good cuddle don't you?

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**3:17 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

Don't we all?

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**3:18 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

Yeah.

I think you'd make a good cuddle Sky.

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**3:19 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

Thanks you too, man.

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**3:20 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

I shall stop texting you now so you don't risk getting an other detention.

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**4:02 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

Too late.

And I have to spend it with Riven.

Again.

Because he was late and there fore got an other detention.

FAIL.

X

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**4:08 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

It's a sign, send the pick up line to Riven and forget Bloom.

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**4:15 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

FML.

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**4:19 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

Dude, if your stuck ask Helia, he's pretty good for advice.

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**4:22 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

I would.

BUT I don't actually have his number…

How did this (not) happen?

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**4:25 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

No wonder you can't get Bloom to go on a date with you…

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**4:28 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

Gee, thanks. But I can get a date with out Helia's help.

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**4:30 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

Yeah, you're latest ploy is working particularly well Sky.

(Seriously the secret admirer thing was just weird)

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**4:32 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

What? Haven't you ever seen a romantic comedy? Chicks dig that stuff.

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**4:33 PM**

**To: **Helia

**From:** Brandon

Please, please, please oh-great-one-whom-knows-all-about-lurve please help Sky.

Seriously.

He needs it.

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**4:48 PM**

**To: **Helia

**From:** Sky

Helia, how can I possibly get Bloom to fall in love with me? Also, I got your number from Brandon.

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**5:15 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

Helia's a worse responder than Riven…

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**5:17 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

Romeo didn't have to wait this long to win Juliet over…

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**5:19 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

So you want to go marry Bloom, then have sex then die?

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**5:23 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

Dude, wtf?

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**5:25 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

Did you ever read Romeo and Juliet?

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**6:00 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

I just finished Romeo and Juliet. I didn't see the sex part.

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**6:02 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

Dude, did you read that last bit you typed? And it's super subtle.

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**6:08 PM**

**To: **Brandon

**From:** Sky

When will Helia respond?

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**6:09 PM**

**To: **Sky

**From:** Brandon

So, you want Helia's help now? Try sending him a pick up line.

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**6:11 PM **

**To: **Helia

**From: **Sky

Hey, Hershey's makes millions of kisses in one day. Can I get one from you?

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**6:27 PM **

**To: **Sky

**From: **Helia

Sure, which one would you like; white, milk or dark?

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**6:29 PM **

**To: **Helia

**From: **Sky

Finally – a response. And quite a witty one at that. I need help. Getting the attention of a girl.

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**6:40 PM **

**To: **Sky

**From: **Helia

Is it Bloom? You guys are already friends, why don't you just ask her out?

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**6:43 PM **

**To: **Helia

**From: **Sky

I just can't, okay?

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**6:56 PM **

**To: **Sky

**From: **Helia

Why not?

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**6:59 PM **

**To: **Helia

**From: **Sky

I… I just… what if she says no?

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**7:09 PM **

**To: **Sky

**From: **Helia

It's just a risk you're going to have to make.

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**7:15 PM **

**To: **Helia

**From: **Sky

FML.

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**8:32 PM **

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Sky

So, hey Bloom, um, so since tomorrow's Friday, do you think you'd like to go to get some pizza and see a movie with me? (Just me)

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**8:38 PM **

**To: **Sky

**From: **Bloom

Are you asking me on a date?

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**8:40 PM **

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Sky

Yes, yes I am.

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**8:42 PM **

**To: **Sky

**From: **Bloom

Took you long enough.

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**8:45 PM **

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Sky

Huh?

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**8:48 PM **

**To: **Sky

**From: **Bloom

I was so worried you were going to use a pick up line.

And wtf? You texted pretty much everyone but me! You didn't think I would find out?

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**8:45 PM **

**To: **Bloom

**From: **Sky

FML.

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**3:30 PM**

**To:** Tecna

**From:** Timmy

Are you sure you don't want me to come over and give you a hand setting everything up?

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**4:01 PM**

**To: **Timmy

**From:** Tecna

I'll be Fiiiine, really! It'll be easy!

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**4:15 PM**

**To:** Tecna

**From:** Timmy

Btw, if you went to the store after school – how did you get it home?

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**4:19 PM**

**To: **Timmy

**From:** Tecna

Bus.

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**4:15 PM**

**To:** Tecna

**From:** Timmy

o.O?

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**5:09 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Riven

Hey, this Sunday, there's this music festival out of town, I have a spare ticket.

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**5:15 PM**

**To: **Riven

**From:** Musa

Pardon?

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**5:30 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Riven

Re-read the text.

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**5:40 PM**

**To: **Riven

**From:** Musa

FML.

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**5:43 PM**

**To: **Tecna

**From:** Musa

Omg, I freaking cannot stand Riven. ? HUH!

And so this text isn't completely about me bitching about Riven, how's the new computer?

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**5:52 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From:** Tecna

This is not going well. And if Riven asked you out, you should go. It's better than nothing right. And it is Riven!

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**5:55 PM**

**To: **Tecna

**From:** Musa

Well, I think he's referring to that big charity concert, they had some cool bands there…. And well, I do have a cute outfit… okay. I'll go.

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**5:58 PM**

**To: **Tecna

**From:** Musa

If you're having technical difficulties, call the help centre.

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**7:46 PM**

**To: **Musa

**From: **Riven

So will you come with me or not?

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**9:30 PM**

**To: **Timmy

**From:** Tecna

I can not for the life of me to get this stupid computer to work. And I refused to call the help centre – they are never helpful.

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**9:36 PM**

**To: **Tecna

**From:** Timmy

Did you plug it in?

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**9:45 PM**

**To: **Timmy

**From:** Tecna

Seriously?

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**9:48 PM**

**To: **Tecna

**From:** Timmy

Seriously, did you plug it in?

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**10:00 PM**

**To: **Timmy

**From:** Tecna

So FAIL. At life. Seriously.

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X

* * *

><p>I think I over used the phrase FML BUT its in the title, it would have been wrong NOT to use it. Oh well. And this story took me <em>way<em> to long to write.

And because no A/N is complete without me bitching about ff edit mode: Wtf? Why you take out all my dashes huh? Had to take down the original and change it to X's. Wtf? Huh? Why you so mean? Huh? What I did I do to you? Stupid ff. Grrrr.

And THEN after adding the X's, word count is down to 2000 (it was 4000 before) Wtf? When did I delete half my story, huh? Wtf? Why can't you count. Stupid ff.

Okay.

That's all.

Thanks.

Xx.

After17.

EDIT: If you really don't know what FML means, type .com and type into the search box, what does FML mean? and then hit search. There is your answer.

FYL.


End file.
